photo © 2008 Douglas Muth | more info (via: Wylio)
You have decided that you want to be more frugal. You have made some plans and maybe even come up with a new budget. What do you do if your spouse does not share in your enthusiasm?
Do what you can. Use your portion of the budget in the wisest way possible. One person's savings can do a lot to positively impact the family finances.
Share your excitement. When you feel that you have done well with your money, show your husband your accomplishment. Let him know how excited you are to have saved money for the family. He may not want to be frugal himself but he will probably be happy to see you so excited.
Understand that you are not a martyr. If you are the only one in your family trying to be frugal, you need to remember that you are not suffering some kind of punishment. If you start to feel resentful because you are the only one "denying yourself," you need to take a good look at your heart and motives.
Get rid of haughtiness and pride. Being a good financial steward does not make you smarter or more spiritual than your non-frugal spouse. It simply makes you more frugal.
Family first. After all it is only money. Nothing on earth is more important than your marriage...nothing. Don't allow money to become an issue between you and your spouse. Proverbs 21:9, It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.
Please visit the Christian Home to read some great articles by godly women.
~All content is copyright 2011 by Lorie Dunlevy - The Midlife Housewife~
Sounds like some great advice indeed!! In a book I read recently it talked a little about this the wife was super frugal the husband was not and the wife all the time would tell the husband not to buy things and it was a real issue with their marriage causing a lot of problems. The author actually said how even though the wife had such good intentions she did a real disservice to her husband who wanted to buy her nice things they clearly had the money so that was not an issue and if her husband wanted to buy something nice for her or their home she should not say anything about it and let him do so. He was trying to give her a gift to show he loved her and would take care of her. I thought this was really good advice. If our husbands are heads of the household then we really should treat them as such. I think in the book the example given was over a appliance that had broke the wife was saying just buy the cheapest but the husband wanted to buy a nice one and more expensive model for the wife. Sometimes frugality when not balanced can be a problem also. I have learned this in my own walk I tend to be super frugal my husband not as much. But I don't always need to be this way so I am learning to let my husband take the lead on this one especially in the more important areas. I try to be frugal with groceries and such where I can be ~I enjoyed your post ~Love Heather
ReplyDeleteOh, this was a timely post for me! Thanks. Thanks for your comment, too. I've been adding back ones who follow me.
ReplyDeleteHi my name is Lorie too! I am a midlife housewife with a husband who spends, spends, spends! Thanks for the great tips. I always wondered what I should do about this situation. I will follow your advice and stop worrying about what he is doing. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteOh my Lorie...you sure you weren't spying on us this morning? This is too much like our household...one a dreamer and one a realist!
ReplyDeleteGreat, great post!! Oh wish you were my neighbor...I could learn a lot on how to balance it all.
sweet Spring blessings to you!
ReplyDeleteenjoyed visiting your blog and reading this post.
Especially like what you said about doing the best that you can with the portion you have!
God bless,
d from homehaven
Great thoughts! I always struggle with feeling like a martyr. Thankfully my hubby and I are working together to keep our budget under control now.
ReplyDeleteLorie,
ReplyDeleteGood post!
I think sometimes as wives, when we get a "good idea" in our head, we might think that everyone else is supposed to "get on the bandwagon" with us as all costs. But it shouldn't be this way. We have to take gradual steps, one moment at a time.
-L. Rose
Thank you for your comment on my blog (A Day in the Life). You've brought up some very good points. I definitely need to apply some of them myself!
ReplyDeleteGreat post! It seems that many of us women are the frugal ones...and that can cause trouble. Mind you, there are a lot of frugal hubbies and shop-aholic wives, too! LOL
ReplyDeleteThis is certainly a place for growth!
Annie Kate
I think it's def. true that we can make a big difference ourselves. The others were great points too, thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI just read this The Simple Dollar post. It is one of his best and has changed my ideas of what is "necessary" in life.
ReplyDeleteMy hubby and i are generally on the same page, but he is more frugal than i. This post is helping me to make it more real. I'm thankful that in general we work together because otherwise it would be really difficult for us to reach our goals.
Excellent insight with the thoughts about being a martyr. Sometimes I do get upset that I am the only one "denying yourself". The statement about "Being a good financial steward does not make you smarter or more spiritual than your non-frugal spouse. It simply makes you more frugal". OUCH that was a nice kick in the pants for me. hahaha
ReplyDeleteThanks Lorie for a ton of stuff to mediate & chew on.